So I woke up this morning. Ow. Ow. Ow. Every major muscle group in my body hurt. I thought about getting out of bed, but even the thought hurt my already hurting muscles. Then I tried to bribe myself with coffee, and realized nope, wouldn't work. Cause the only thing waiting for me once I got out of bed? A protein shake.
Yummy.
I made it to the gym eventually. A mile to warm up, got through my leg routine...then a LOT of really intense stretching. Eventually I was just lying on my back, listening to Hunter Hayes and waiting to die. Death seemed preferable to walking the entire 300 yards back to my apartment.
Since I'm complaining, another issue: I don't speak "workout" or "GNC" or whatever dialect is spoken by the elite of the fitness world. I walked into my friendly neighborhood wellness store for some fitness in a jar, and the incredibly beautiful, incredibly fit, incredibly personable staff immediately rush to my assistance. Unfortunately, I felt like they were all speaking Latin, but...backwards. I understood words like "and", "the", "if", "bottle", purchased the supplements thrown at me, and left the store feeling like I had just had a parallel-universe experience. There has to be some sort of medium for this - a svengali, if you will - someone to serve as communicator, translator, Star Wars-type protocol drone. SOMEBODY to help those of us bridge that gap between SUPERFIT and just...ordinary. Any tips?
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