Day 3 of 56: Ouch...

So I woke up this morning. Ow. Ow. Ow. Every major muscle group in my body hurt. I thought about getting out of bed, but even the thought hurt my already hurting muscles. Then I tried to bribe myself with coffee, and realized nope, wouldn't work. Cause the only thing waiting for me once I got out of bed? A protein shake.

Yummy.

I made it to the gym eventually. A mile to warm up, got through my leg routine...then a LOT of really intense stretching. Eventually I was just lying on my back, listening to Hunter Hayes and waiting to die. Death seemed preferable to walking the entire 300 yards back to my apartment.

Since I'm complaining, another issue: I don't speak "workout" or "GNC" or whatever dialect is spoken by the elite of the fitness world. I walked into my friendly neighborhood wellness store for some fitness in a jar, and the incredibly beautiful, incredibly fit, incredibly personable staff immediately rush to my assistance. Unfortunately, I felt like they were all speaking Latin, but...backwards. I understood words like "and", "the", "if", "bottle", purchased the supplements thrown at me, and left the store feeling like I had just had a parallel-universe experience. There has to be some sort of medium for this - a svengali, if you will - someone to serve as communicator, translator, Star Wars-type protocol drone. SOMEBODY to help those of us bridge that gap between SUPERFIT and just...ordinary. Any tips?

Day 2 of 56...Began With A Nap

It's true. I woke up uncharacteristically early for me this morning, which means like 7, and (since I had no coffee to jolt me into the day) wound up going back to bed until about 10. Learning to listen to my body and rest when I need rest (instead of relying on artificial stimulants to keep me going) is really difficult for me.

Today I did the workout as outlined yesterday, but only made it to 20 burpees and 20 teasers. Clearly, I've got my goal for the week. Walking up the stairs to my apartment was painful.

I think the coolest part of this whole workout thing is that I no longer feel guilty about "not making it", not being as fit or as fast or as whatever as The Other Guy. I don't feel bad for "only" doing 20 burpees. I feel proud for doing 20 burpees really well. It's a great feeling to not hate myself, my body, or my life because I can't bench press 150 lbs or run 10 miles a day.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm not the poster girl for Crossfit or the next Demi Lovato...but I don't have to be. I'm just myself. And I like where I am, and who I am, and what I am. And that's really, really nice.

Day 1 of 56: Game Plan

So, just about the time I would normally reach for a glass of wine or pop a Dos Equis, I pulled down the protein mix. Sigh.

NEWS FLASH: Chocolate-Flavored Egg White Protein Shake Mix with the smiley guy on the front? Really not disgusting at all. Actually tastes kind of like chocolate milk. I hate protein shakes with a passion, so "pretty tasty" is like a standing ovation. Plus this one is sweetened with stevia and has no preservatives, so I feel a little better about drinking it than, say, Slim-Fast. It's at Whole Foods and (although a little pricey) well worth the drive and the extra money.

I took a minute to set up tomorrow's workout (arms, abs, obliques) and after some tweaking, this is what I have:

Burpees - 50 (yes, 50)
Biceps - 30 reps at 30 lbs
Triceps - 30 reps at 30 lbs

Abs
Crisscross - 50
Teaser - 50
Teaser Sit - 3 at 30 sec apiece

Obliques
Side sits - 50
Mermaid - 25/side

We'll see if this lazy girl makes it past the burpees. And if I can actually brush my teeth on Friday morning.

Day 1 of 56: Why 24 Is Not 17

So, for those of you who don't know, I used to have an eating disorder back in my ballet days. I was bulimic, which basically means I would go for days without eating, then binge on something I loved (primarily ice cream and fried rice) and make myself vomit it all up. Somehow, I had convinced myself that this was normal - even healthy. Sure, there *were* skinny dancers with eating disorders, but I couldn't be one of them. Not me.

WRONG.

Anyway, fast-forward to now. I am recovered, through the grace of God and a lot of hard work. I enjoy food. I don't binge or purge any more. I am in a healthy frame of mind, and I want my body to be healthy as well. I don't want just to be SKINNY any more. I want to be HEALTHY - muscular. Fit. Flexible. Whatever.


Unfortunately...I'm also pretty lazy. I don't eat nearly enough protein, and I hardly ever drink anything but coffee and sweet tea. These habits are not conducive to good health.

Now, caveat: I love ACTIVITY, but I really hate EXERCISE. For example: I will happily spend an hour paddling around in circles in a sea kayak that I don't know how to steer (this recently happened while on vacation in the Keys), but ask me to take that same hour and go to the gym, do some crunches? Not likely.

Anyway, now that I'm a teacher on summer break and have a lot of time on my hands, I've decided to take 8 weeks - 56 days - and try to form those healthy habits that I've been saying I wanted for years. This blog is mostly for me - to help me stay accountable, even if it's only to somebody out in cyberspace - and also to provide some kind of a forum for anyone who knows more about fitness than me (which is probably everybody) to throw me some pointers if the inclination strikes. My program so far is tri-fold, and looks like this:

THE WATER INITIATIVE
Everyone I talk to, everything I've read, agrees that pure water, and lots of it, is ESSENTIAL to your well-being. So, I have eliminated coffee (AGH), energy drinks (SOB), alcohol, sweet tea and milkshakes, replacing these with a gallon of water daily, bringing us to

THE PROTEIN PROGRAM
I don't consume enough protein, mostly because I like carbs too much. So, I have added in 10 ounces of protein daily, plus 3-9 tablespoons of liquid amino acids (thanks, Mac, for the suggestion). Hopefully, this will help with

THE WEIGHTLIFTING TRAUMA
I hate working out. I really do. Enough said.

Today was my first workout. I filled up my water bottle with amino acids and H2O, and headed off.
Look at me, all perky and anticipating. Clearly, I'm thrilled.

This is what happened:

1 mile on the treadmill to warm up (alternating between a power walk and a sprint in speed)
30 reps leg curls at 40 lbs
30 reps leg extensions at 50 lbs
Obliques - 100 reps
Abs - 100 reps
15 minutes intense stretching
5 minutes cool-down stretching

All in all, it wasn't too bad. I still have to choke down a couple of protein shakes and half a gallon of water. Wish me luck - it's arms tomorrow. Yikes.